Friday, February 16

Tough Love

My daughter turned 18 yesterday and today I fulfilled my last official act as mother to a minor child. She had a court date (don't ask, she appears to like trouble) that I was ordered to bring her in for. Of course, her being 18 and out of my house I have no control and couldn't force her to go to court. I showed up anyway, thinking that the responsible thing to do. Let the court workers know she'd turned 18 and that she wasn't there with me. She did finally show, 1/2 an hour late. I asked the attorney if he needed me to be present now and he indicated he didn't so I left. My daughter and I are estranged and so I sort of waved and walked off.

A huge part of me felt like going somewhere to celebrate, I've been responsible for all her antics since she turned 10 and started trying to get wild (yes, 10). I've had court dates and programs and counseling and more court dates, in town, out of town and also had to drive out of town to pick her up from treatment and juvenile facilities several times. So, today was a huge red letter day for me. I am no longer legally responsible for her behavior, she gets to actually pay the piper herself from now on. I must admit, I'm a bit curious about what happens today in court, but I wasn't sticking around to find out either.

Tough love is about the hardest thing you'll ever have to practice with your child. It's a mother's natural instinct to protect her child and to go against that to try to teach that person they need to be responsible by stepping out of the way and allowing them to pick up the pieces of the messes they made for themselves, isn't easy at all. Still, I don't feel I'd do her any favors by not at least trying to teach her there are consequences for her behaviors and actions. Even if she doesn't believe me, and she doesn't learn it from me, I know I tried and that is as much as I can do.

On to crochet things. I finished my slippers from the Crochet-along I was participating in. They fit perfect and look so cute. Nice and toasty warm as well. I also managed to get a bit more done on the afghan project before bedtime last night, so maybe it will be finished over the weekend and I can post a picture of it as a finished object. Then I get to pull out the shrug I'd started and had to frog. I was making the shrug with a ww acrylic and a feathery wispy eyelash type held together. I had two different colors of this eyelash that would work with the other yarn, one was a variegated with the color of the acrylic in it. The other was a solid color same as the acrylic. I started the shrug using the variegated and decided I didn't like it, so I frogged and put it up until later. Now, I'm going back to it, using the solid color eyelash and I think it's going to be beautiful when I am finished. Pictures will ensue!

Yesterday I promised to get a picture of that dirt cake up and today I am fulfilling that promise.

1 comment:

enid said...

Tough love IS tough! I'm glad you showed up at the court, though. I'm sure that your daughter will think you're getting smarter as SHE turns older! One of these days she'll realize that rules are to protect, not to take away my fun. I hope she wakes up soon! God bless you for trying to do the right thing and be t here for your daughter.